In the Closet
by MovieBuffStarlet
Summary: Angel and Collins get trapped in the closet together. HAHAHAHA! Borderline crackfic.


_A/N: I was in such a weird mood while I was writing this, and I think it shows. (cackles madly)_

What a treat to come home to. Really. After a hard day at work, who doesn't want to feast their eyes on the sight of their lover's round, perfect ass up in the air? It was quite the unladylike position to be in…especially in a skirt. This just added to the sexiness…

Even though he was very turned on, Collins still felt the urge to just burst into laughter. Or to run up behind Angel and give her a playful pinch. He managed to fight off those urges, however.

"Girl, what are you _doing_??"

Angel immediately stopped rummaging through the junk at the sound of her lover's voice. She straightened up, her back creaking as she did so. She settled back and turned her head to look at him.

"Oh…welcome home, baby! I was just looking for my drumsticks…"

Collins raised an amused eyebrow as he set his briefcase down.

"In the _closet_??"

"I've looked everywhere else." Angel shrugged, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. She let out a soft, slightly frustrated sigh. "I don't know what the heck happened to them!"

"Hmmmm. That's strange." Collins frowned, shaking his head. He walked over and crouched down beside her. "And you're _sure_ you checked everywhere else?"

Angel nodded. "Care to help me look?"

"Y'know…maybe it was a _poltergeist_!" Collins teased, putting on his best 'spooky voice'.

"Ooooh! _Don't_! You're gonna give me nightmares!" Angel cringed, shrinking away from him.

"I'm sorry, Angelcake. Here…let me sing you a song…"

Angel giggled. "A _song_??"

"Yup!" Collins grinned. He crawled into the closet, rummaging through a bunch of random crap. He sang as he did so.

"_Hush, little Angel, don't say a word_

_I'm gonna buy you a fucking bird…"_

Angel burst out into laughter. "Um…I think it's '_mocking_ bird'…"

The professor smiled slyly and continued.

"_And if that fucking bird don't sing_

_I'm gonna buy you a diamond ring_

_And if that diamond ring turns brass_

_I'm gonna let you have my ass…"_

"Awww! That's really sweet, honey! Perverted…but _sweet_! But a pair of drumsticks will do just fine…really!"

"_And if my poor lil' ass gets broke_

_I'm gonna buy you a billy goat…"_

"Oh, don't even _go_ there!" Angel folded her arms across her chest.

"_And if that billy goat don't-"_

"HONEY_!!"_

By this point, Collins was doubled over, his head touching his knees. His shoulders were shaking with laughter.

"I'm sorry, Angelcake! It's just…too damn _funny_!!" Collins straightened up his torso, wiping a tear from his cheek.

Despite her best efforts, Angel felt her face breaking out into a huge grin.

"Oh, look! I found them!" Collins pointed to the far corner of the closet.

"_Really_?! Thank you, baby!!" Angel quickly crawled inside the closet. Collins pressed his ribs up against a wall to allow her room to enter.

Angel was on her hands and knees among the junk. She leaned forward, peering in the darkness.

"So, can you tell me where you saw them, honey?" Angel looked at him, waiting for an answer.

Stunningly fast, Collins reached over her and grasped the doorknob. He slammed the closet door shut.

"I lied."

"_EEEEEEEEEKKK_!!!" Angel squealed. "Thomas…you…_you_…!"

Collins grinned proudly, even though Angel couldn't see it.

"Yes, Angelcake?"

"You…_tricked_ me!!"

"I know."

Collins heard the sound of the doorknob being frantically jiggled.

"Hey…we're _stuck_!" Angel imagined Collins and herself starving to death in the closet. Her life flashed before her very eyes. Okay, not really. But anyway…

"Really??" Collins could not believe his luck.

Angel sighed heavily.

"Now we're trapped in this cramped, junky closet…in the _dark_…probably with the _spiders_…and my drumsticks are still missing…"

"Awwww, don't worry about it, Ang." Collins slyly put his arm around her shoulders, gently running a hand up and down her arm. "I'm sure you could go all Charlie's Angels on its ass…what door could possibly withstand the impact of those heels??"

He heard Angel giggling.

"Besides," Collins continued, hoping to check off one more place on his list. "Have you ever _done it_ in the closet before??"

Angel's giggling turned into full blown laughter….perhaps she was already high due to lack of oxygen?

"The _closet_?? _The closet!! WE'RE GONNA DO IT IN THE CLOSET!!! US OF ALL PEOPLE!!"_

"I take that as a 'yes', then?"

"Sure! Sounds like fun!"

To start things rolling, Collins let his hand slide down to her ass. He marveled at how…hard and firm it felt. To his surprise, Angel didn't even react.

"Um…do you work out,baby?" He asked her, hoping to break the ice.

"…Sort of. Why?"

"Well…only a person who works out can get an ass as rock hard as this…"

"As rock hard as _what_??" Angel giggled again.

Collins was shocked.

"Don't you feel my hand on your ass right now??"

"Honey…you aren't even touching my ass…"

Collins pulled his hand away…more than a little freaked out.

"Then _who_ the hell was I feeling up just now?!"

"Probably the mannequin I bought ages ago…" Came Angel's nonchalant reply.

"You bought a _mannequin_?? Why?"

"To model clothes, silly!"

Collins shuddered.

"Ugh. I _hate_ those things. They give me the creeps."

"Well, why don't you come over here so I can _comfort_ you?"

Arms outstretched, Collins followed the sound of her voice. He tripped and almost fell on his face several times. Finally, the fingers of his left hand brushed the silky strands of her wig.

"I _found_ you!" Collins laughed, very proud of himself.

In an instant, he felt Angel's small, graceful fingers caressing his face, sliding down his well toned chest and stomach, and then…

"What's _this_??" Angel gasped playfully.

At a loss for words, Collins just moaned as he felt Angel rubbing his bulge.

Suddenly, Angel grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him up against the door.

"Baby…what are you doing??"

He heard the sound of rustling behind him. Collins assumed that Angel was preparing.

"Well, I figured we'd multi task. In the process of making love, we'll also try to open the door!"

"Hmmm. Alright." Collins grunted, becoming hornier by the second. Collins smiled as he felt Angel's hands reach around, fumbling with his jeans and finally pushing them down.

"Oh, crap…" Angel hesitated.

"What?"

"We don't have any lube…"

"Angel…you were a boy scout, right?"

"Yeah. But what does that have to do with-?"

"Then you should know to be _prepared_!" Collins chuckled, giving Angel a mock scolding. "Check my pocket…in my jeans…"

He heard Angel crouching down…the sound of his jeans rustling…

"Honey…you carry a travel-sized tube of lube around with you??"

Collins didn't say anything. The truth was, he planned this whole thing. The missing drumsticks just helped him out. A lot.

He opened his mouth, ready to explain himself.

"Well, you see-"

He was cut off when he felt Angel slide a hand into his boxers, working the warming gel over him.

"Oohhhhh…_Angel_…"

"Yes, honey?" The Latino kissed his shoulder as she continued to play with him.

"_Please hurry_…"

Angel tugged his boxers down, gripped onto his hips for leverage…

"Brace yourself, Thomas." She whispered into his ear.

And then he felt her push into him.

Collins could've sworn he heard the angels sing.

In order to change things up, Angel pulled out at a slow,calm pace…then thrust in quickly. Collins pushed back against her, causing them both to moan.

"Harder,Ang…faster…make it _hurt_…"

_Make it hurt_

Angel grit her teeth, kind of liking the idea. If she wasn't so turned on right now, she would've hesitated…

She grunted and began pounding into him with dizzying, harsh, rapid thrusts. This created a steadily increasing rhythm that drove both lovers to the brink of orgasm within a minute, at the most.

Collins groaned loudly.

"Angel…I'm about to…"

He didn't even get to finish his sentence. Angel reached around, catching him in a firm grip. She fisted him.

This easily sent him over the edge. He moaned and screamed, exploding into her hand.

Having quite the opposite reaction, Angel sighed quietly. She bit her lip, feeling herself come inside him.

After all was said and done, she leaned heavily against his back, breathing hard. Collins was leaning against the door…

"You think we've loosened it??"

"I dunno…but I need to sit down…"

His head still spinning, Collins pushed himself off the door. He eased his pants up and shuffled over to the back wall, leaning against it and sliding to the floor in a sitting position.

Angel pulled up her stockings.

"That was fuckin' _amazing_, Angel!" Collins breathed. "It really was!"

"Thanks!" Angel grinned. She felt her way over to the wall Collins was at. She slowly eased herself down beside him.

"We really should look for a flashlight or something…"

"Hey, Angelcake? You don't happen to be poking me in the ass right now…?"

"No…" Angel giggled. "Not yet, anyway. If you want to go for another round maybe…"

Collins frowned. He reached down and grasped at the hard,annoying object, yanking it up…

He immediately knew the feeling. Two of them. Long, slender, smooth, and wooden.

"Hey, Angel…I think I found your drumsticks!"

Angel squealed with glee.

"That's _great_, baby!! And…hold on. Let me try something…"

She crawled over to the door. Instead of going 'Charlie's Angels' on its ass…she simply turned the doorknob and gave it a gentle push…

It swung open!

Both lovers blinked at the light.

Beaming with joy, Angel turned back to Collins and flung an arm around his neck. She happily gripped her drumsticks with her free hand. She pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you so much, Thomas!"

Collins hugged her back, also grinning. He was on cloud 9, as a matter of fact. They had both gotten what they wanted. Angel got her drumsticks, and Collins got…well…hot sex.

"No, Angelcake. Thank _you_!"

THE END


End file.
